That's Why...

Friday started out like a Monday! Sammy woke up a couple of times the night before--battling a cold and teething all at once. As a result of his massive drool factory, he had a rash on either side of his mouth. I had a harder-than-usual time leaving him that morning. I was overwhelmed with the tough time he was having, and I was overwhelmed by life in general (the details are meaningless at this point). I got to school, and went to my first class. My usually "easy" class was difficult. The students were moody...ok, they were down right nasty and defiant. "In school suspension", which is one of my lovely duties, was packed with 30+ students, and the they were taking all of their hate for the world and their situations out on me (and the other teacher with me). AND my usually "difficult" class was even more difficult than usual!....

Then came a divine appointment. A meeting between God and me by way of an essay. I am amazed by the power of God. He knew what my next question would be even before I had time to ask it. In the midst of the chaos, he told me why....

I've been working with a group of students every year since they were freshmen. Now they are seniors. I've watched them struggle and fight through illiteracy and stereotypes and everything in between. This particular group was given an assignment at the beginning of the week: write a college application essay. Students who never dreamed of going to college four years ago were now faced with a task...dream about the future, sell yourself, show how you're unique. Without any prompting, one of my students embraced the task. Four years ago, I would have needed to "hold his hand" and practically write the essay for him. Four years ago, he would have dragged his feet and told me over and over again, "I don't know what to write about. I can't do it." Friday, I was handed a completed essay. One I never helped with or had to beg for. I wanted to share the introduction to this essay (as it was written--no editing):

"I was raised by a single mom and I never really knew my dad. Maybe I saw my dad once but since I can't remember I don't think it counts for much. I guess I can't write this essay like I am a big hero because I am really not. But I was thinking and I was dreaming that if I went to college maybe I could be some kind of hero. I'm not saying that college would make me a famous hero like President Obama or the Patriot's wide receiver Randy Moss. Do you know what kind of hero I'd like to be? I'd like to be a hero who is a regular dad, who stays with his kids, works at a job, and just tries to make a good life for his good family."

Gosh...after a day filled with moments that made me question, "God, God, why here, why now?," He met me before I even asked for the appointment..."that's why." This student and all those who will follow who dream of a better life, a better opportunity..."they are why." A lot of my students will never make it to college, and some won't make it out of high school. I will probably never have the satisfaction of running into a student some years down the line who has amazing stories of becoming a professional in some impressive field. But I do get to love kids for a living. I get to love kids who may not know what it means to love or to be happy. I get to be light in the darkness. I pray that one day that is what Sammy sees in me. Not that I simply "went back to work," but that I went back to serve...to love those who are difficult to love, to guide those who would rather be lost, and to teach those who have often been forgotten.