I've been keeping a journal since my 5th month or so of pregnancy. I write in it here and there, as if I am talking to Sammy...what I would say to him or would want him to know. It is my hope that he can someday read it and know what I was feeling and thinking along the way. Just thought I would share today's entry with you:
"I haven't written in a while because you've kept me pretty busy! Over the months, you have grown right before our eyes. We've watched you change and develop a personality. It has been the most amazing experience. Now, you are crawling and pulling up on things, and in the coming weeks, you'll take your first steps. I've been home with you this whole time, and tomorrow I return to my job. I know you don't understand right now, and I know you'll be fine, but my heart is breaking into a million pieces. I haven't been away from you except for a couple of hours at a time since you were born. If I could tell you, I'd want you to know how much I love you. We've been reading the book "Guess How Much I Love You" and Big Nutbrown Hare tells little Nutbrown Hare that he loves him all the way to the moon and back. Well, I love you even more than that--I hope someday you'll understand how much. My heart aches over the thought of leaving you, but I know you'll be fine. You're already strong and independent. Even more, I know God has His hand on you. While I'm at work, I'm helping kids who have a hard time learning and have a hard time with life. I'm sharing my love with them--the love Jesus has for them. Please don't ever think I am taking love from you! I'll be thinking of you every minute. Never forget how much I love you--all the way to the moon and back...a million times!"
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