The Battle

I walked into the office, signed in as usual, walked out the office door and headed toward my classroom. Before I got to the stairwell, I passed by one of my former students-now a junior. She was smiling as usual and quickly said hello, but soon after she walked by she said, "Hey Mrs. Neiss, did you know I was going to have twins?" I have been doing this job long enough for "was" to be the first word to hit my ears. I was already in my classroom and onto the day's tasks in my mind, but I quickly gave this young girl my undivided attention. "What do you mean by was?" The answer to my question was obvious, but I needed to hear her say it. I needed to see the look in her eyes. "I didn't have a choice" was her response. I stood before her at that moment, not just as a teacher, but also as a mom--someone who has felt life stir inside of her--and as someone who puts her hope and faith in the One who created those little lives. She went on to tell me that her parents wouldn't have it any other way. I spent a few moments listening--without comment or judgment. She had such a juvenile expression on her face--so innocent--like she was simply telling me what she did over the weekend. She ended the conversation by telling my the cadillac of prescriptions she is now on to fight off possible infections and to speed healing. We parted ways and I headed to my classroom stunned. In my seven years teaching in this environment, I've seen a lot. I've seen students die before the diploma even has a chance to reach their hands. I've seen students locked up for life because of one bad choice. I've seen pure anger and hate in 14, 15, 16-year old eyes. This time I sat at my desk and cried and had a quiet funeral in my heart for those two little lives. I stared at all the empty desks and mourned. All of the garbage I have seen and have heard about and have witnessed in my short teaching career came flooding back to me like a nightmare. Then Ephesians 6:12 came to mind: "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." I usually spend the twenty minutes or so before homeroom grading papers or going over lessons, but instead I took some time to put on the armor of God. I sat in my empty room and focused on the One who put me there...the One who knows the very hairs on the head of each student that enters my room and every room in that building...

May I never forget that teaching is my secondary purpose.