It is 3:59pm, and since you are both napping, it is silent in our home except for the sounds of the neighborhood streaming in through open windows on this perfectly beautiful day. All I can hear inside our house is the ticking sound of the clock--seconds passing by as quickly they enter. The ticking reminds me that time never stands still, never stops long enough for me to make everything perfect (whatever that looks like). I blinked, and my sweet first-born suddenly became a curious, high energy, animal-loving, dirt-seeking, question-asking, hug-giving, non-stop-talking three and half year old. I blinked again, and my fragile, pink and wrinkly second born with his little stick legs became my super chubby, unbelievably content almost four month old. I feel torn because I long for you to forever be my babies, but I find so much joy in watching you grow and change and learn and become who God intended you to be. You've changed me.
I turn 31 in two days, and I celebrate 10 years of marriage to your amazing daddy next month. I think about who I was 10 years ago, and I don't even recognize who I was--for the good. The truth is, time will keep marching. Sammy...you will all-too-soon be off to Kindergarten, and my Eli, you will eventually be as curious as your big brother and will undoubtedly need me less. Our house will get messier instead of neater. The laundry piles in the basement and dishes in the sink will double. More stains will be added to the carpet. I will step on a hundred more plastic dinosaurs and Mr. Potato Head pieces and will have to bite my tongue a hundred more times before letting an obscenity slip out when this happens! I will have to "shout out" more stains, and more pants with holes will be added to the "for playing outside only" pile. I will definitely be saying "don't put that in your mouth," "what in the world," and "I can't believe you just did that" a thousand more times. More Play Doh will be eaten behind my back and candy hiding places will continue to be discovered.
But more memories will also be made. More laughter will spill from our open windows out into the street. More playgrounds will be climbed on. More sand castles will be built. More dandelions will be called beautiful and picked just for me. We will continue to dig in the dirt in search or worms and potato bugs together. We will write with sidewalk chalk until we're covered in it. We will eat ice cream and licorice. We will read "On Top of Spaghetti" over and over. We will "see" hippos in the creeks we walk along, elephants at the playground, and lions at the grocery store. We will have popcorn at nana's house and help papa with his tools and ride his lawn mower. You will both squeal with delight when it is time to go to church, and you'll light up when you see Lucas, Alicia ("Sheesha"), Megan, Debbie, or any of the several people who love you both and will pour into your lives over the years to come...
...And I will soak in every tick of the second hand because all-too-soon you will be walking along the creek dreaming of tomorrow instead of seeing hippos, you'll be reading history books and solving math equations at the dining room table instead of begging me to read a colorful and catchy picture book, and you'll be picking a wild flower bouquet for some sweet girl that you've fallen in love with instead of picking beautiful weeds for me!
